Posted by jonvon on January 18, 2004 at 00:16:33:
In Reply to: Re: more thoughts posted by PS on January 12, 2004 at 12:11:12:
i like where you are going with this. resonates hard.
i think the kingdom is love and kindness.
"If it exists today, what will we show of its substance that will convince anyone they want to live in it?"
they will know us by our love. not love for the purpose of convincing anyone of anything, but true selflessness. selflessness that is unaware of itself. and unaware of any other person as well, except as it relates to kindness.
it is the awareness of the self (the knowledge of good and evil perhaps) that kills everything off. if there isn't a me, then there isn't anyone to build my own kingdom for.
personally i can't see myself going near organized christianity ever again because it is always too aware of itself, and i am too aware of myself within it. my status within it. my position as it relates to the position of others. the kingdom no longer means anything to me in that context, it is basically ruined for me, i think. this is because of my own flaws of course. the log i have endeavored to pull splinter by splinter out of my own eye is too personal and too painful. it has deceived me and betrayed me too many times. i can't see anything but a forest made out of that same wood as soon as i step across that threshold that is the door to any church. i am essentially ruined. and somewhat glad of the ruin while simultaneously mourning it.
i just want to sit under my tree and know god. and give my daughter hugs, and hold hands with my wife. that is enough, more than enough in fact.