Posted by cav on December 18, 2004 at 05:17:07:
In Reply to: beyond the gossamer veil... posted by giveawayboy on December 18, 2004 at 02:11:27:
I've also had similar experiences where I find myself becoming very greatful that I am where I am and part of what exists, flaws and all. When I am really sick, and I get help from a doctor, when I am injured and they can use painless methods or at least use numbing agents. It is these times that my problems with society fade away and I am intensely glad that it has developed to a point to save me from suffering. At these points we must commit ourselves to something, or rather resign ourselves to it, and let others care for us. It is humbling, but also liberating in some strange way. I had this expereince when I came here to Japan, alone, far from my family and friends on the other side of the world, surrounded by frenetic crowds that I have never been able to relate to or feel comfortable in. Jet-lagged and not given opportunity to rest, I experienced constant bouts of existential nausea and couldn't sleep or eat for 3 days. (I never knew how important sleep was until that point.) I was more broken than I have been in many years. At this point, I had nothing to do but to commit myself to my handlers and trust that I would be cared for or die. Either way the situation would pass soon. And I became intensely grateful for being in exactly this place and time. It was one more way in which I was able to learn that God is still in control and has not ignored problems, nor left us to our own foolishness (as some Christians like to think.)
: : I too remember many of these same things, and can see the same history. I agree, but would make a distinction in that I do not hope for society, instead I now see through society, as if I was looking at the gossamer veil and now can see that it is not nearly solid. I can place these special and seemingly unrelated incidents and people as part of a strong and beautiful weave that was being constructed with intention from the beginning of time. It is these points where the veil is thinnest, but the entire tapestry is complete behind it nonetheless. With this view, I can see past the flaws and realize that the hoped for Kingdom is in fact existing in our midst. It is at hand. Jesus did in fact triumph, and the Messiah did indeed save the world. The problem is that we are often looking at the wrong world...or more concretely, not looking from the right perspective. (oh yeah!...shinji reference! I love it when that kind of unexpected consolidation happens, like when I finally find myself able to focus all those pieces of language I'm learning in a sensical thought!)
: Actually, I totally agree with you. One thing I'm learning is how to see something inspite of the apparent non-existence of something. For instance, I can believe that man's creations have displaved or replaced nature, or I can go to a really bad part of the street where the ugly cement sidewalk seems to mock nature, and I can begin to see the weeds growing through the cracks. I can begin to see her there. Same with society. I'm not putting my hope in a perfect society. I was mainly sharing that to say that the greatest thoughts or ideas come down to us, despite broken vessels. Some of the greatest advances in European culture came from a dismantled and fading al-Andalus, torn apart by hungers and confusions. Some of the greatest truths of my faith come down to me through clumsy messengers and littered with errors. But I can look beyond the temporal, the veil as you say, and know that the ultimate nature of reality is not something fleeting. I learned this especially over the last 8-9 weeks of seeing my body out of whack, and having three doctors not know what was wrong. I began to realize that I am not permanent. I began to see how important systems are, and not just objects. I began to realize my interconnectedness w other parts of reality. Then when I realized this my slight sufferings were not as overwhelming. They were a bit more bearable. I began to see how these mini-inconveniences are like little deaths preparing us for the coronation itself. I began to see how much my own version of my self needed dismantling. It was funny too, since I sat in the doctor's office, staring at the chair and stirrups thinking, you know, it looks like some medieval torture device, and then I commited to the experience, which was not pleasant. I basically threw myself into it and said it's a part of life that is not permanent. It is a part of life that I need to say yes too, at least for the next five minutes. Somehow, in being able to lose myself I was finding myself again, only this time I could see that it was myself interacting w life, and not just existing as something unique. Just as the gossamer is not solid we are not solid.