both and...

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: <b>both and....</b> I remember my paradigm shift from either/or to both/and. It was huge! Suddenly everything filled out w meaning and possibility. Everything was supercharged and fluid. : <b>both and neither</b> I totally get you here. This reminds me of something I wrote in a poem once, THE ABOMINABLE LUNCHEON OF GABRIEL RAVENCHILD: : "Salad forks mean nothing - mean everything! : A salt shaker appears in the heavens! : Silence." : How could salad forks mean both nothing and everything? If they exist they can't mean nothing can they? But if they exist as mere forks, then they can't possible mean everything, can they? And why is the saltshaker appearing in the Heavens? Is it just flying through the air and seen against the sky? Is it an epiphany of some sort? How could a salt shaker be so grandiose? It's just an ordinary everyday item? Why should it demand holy silence? Hmmmm.... : The key for me is the Mystery in which everything nestles and rides. It is the Mystery which relates all things within itself and harmonizes them perfectly. : ************************************** : : : But I always come back to...ok, if this is so, what am I supposed to DO? ...not necessarily do anything 'about it' but how am I supposed to apply this to my life and walk it out in the real world. What is the lesson here for me? : : I know I find myself less and less angered by these things. and I've never been one who was really all that bent over it because I could just excuse the fluff as what it was, moral fluff that happened to be branded "Christian" it just never got in the way much for me. On the other hand, people's attitudes really torque me. But that has even gotten less. I've been thinking through some upcoming decisions about going back to school and how that might bring up conflicts regarding very fundamental premises of faith. It's always wise to anticipate these things, and where I used to want to have some ironclad apology ready, or some witty snip to make people think, now I just don't really care...like really don't care...like I know why I do what I do probably to a far greater degree than most people, I mean I can lay out the philosophical premise behind how I tie my shoes...but I don't feel any need to justify that to anyone who doesn't see it anymore. And I don't despise their blindness or arrogance anymore. And the great thing is, it feels good. I just seem to find the world a nicer place...Really, call it my perception or whatever, but I think by my not having these psychological walls anymore I'm allowing others to be kind to me. I'm giving them the opportunity to show that grace they preach, and they are! Most likely the world was always like that and I just couldn't see it, but there is always the possibility that some fundamental parameter of the universe altered while I was on the other side of the globe...Of course metaphysically, I believe it was really both... and neither, but that's a whole different discussion. : : : : : :Maybe the paradigm is just wrong from the core. : : : YES! I think you are right. At TCS we had a section of the store, called Christian Living. It was mainly fluff. Our theology and history sections were significantly smaller than the 'fluff' section. And one customer remarkably observed. Christian living? I thought Christ called us to die. Ouch! I loved it! : : : : But now I feel like I can't abandon the church altogether, just like I can't walk out on my family for all their flaws, even though it wears me out and even hurts more than I'd like. I have no idea how it all works out. : : : TRUE! Even though it hurts more than we'd like. It is no less than a calling to share in Christ's cross. And frankly, none of us want that in our older natures. Yet, there might be some hidden part, some new person inside saying Yes, I want that. I'm willing to take the cross. I'm willing to disappear and be a bridge for people to walk on. But this is all hidden mysterious stuff. : : : Speaking of turning Christendom into an industry, I liked this <a href="http://www.gaychristian.net/qaf/qaf_week06.php">segment</a> by Nathan Gunter. : : : Peace, Bill

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