Posted by PS on March 20, 2005 at 04:32:55:
In Reply to: oooohhh- shudders posted by cav on March 20, 2005 at 02:56:24:
: And lest you get a big head, it's all in spite of yourself really ;)
You could not be any more on target. I am so intimately acquainted with my flaws that I can only hope they are there to assure humility someday when I might be successful enough to need it. ;-)
: Dear God.... I just spent more than an hour typing a heart felt and personal response to the rest of your post, and then as I tried to clear some of the clutter below it, I accidentally erased the whole of it below this point... it is in an instant evaporated into cyberspace with no way to recall it... what a testament to the futility of our own thinking...
: I think I have to go meditate on this in silence for a few minutes...that or beat a hole in the wall with my head...I'll let you know how it goes.
I have been there!!! Good Lord, it is not only deeply frustrating, but it is for me a disturbing mix of contrary anxieties. On the one hand, I honestly feel like I said something important and it is just fundamentally WRONG that it should be invalidated in one brief accidental keystroke. On the other hand, I feel like I must be far too stuck on myself to take so seriously the loss of my words on an internet bulletin board. On the third hand (I am a mutant after such catastrophes), I wonder whether the second time around will be clearer and more compelling for the forced rethinking of it all, or whether I will get done and lament the loss of the prophetic verve that existed in the first edition. Then (you guessed it) on the fourth hand (I am looking more and more like a Hindu avatar), I wonder if I should just give it up. Sometimes my schedule makes that decision for me--no time to do it over. And I leave for my job or class feeling raped and pillaged, perplexed by the grave injustices in the universe and pondering theodicy.
Now the only thing better than me so identifying with your crisis of logos katastrofi would be accidentally losing this post also. ;-)