Posted by PS on November 08, 2005 at 22:02:28:
In Reply to: whining and fixing posted by cav on November 08, 2005 at 12:19:49:
: Have you noticed how much we whine about things? I am periodically struck by how much of a whiner I am. Sure mostly it's not just straight whining, but I'm always focused on my problems. The thing is the problems are so minor in the scheme of things that I actually kind of sicken myself.
: That and I always want to fix things. Even minor little things I start looking for solutions or at least explanations to. I don't even think I was able to see that I did this until I had to live in a culture that decidedly doesn't try to fix things in most cases.
: Are we taught to be this way? I think we're definitely encouraged. Probably not directly, but in subtle ways we're encouraged to focus on what we need and to resolve every irritation.
: Anyone else experience this? Are we naturally just a bunch of wusses?
: Geez, get over myself!
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Lord, I could have written this myself, except for the living in Japan part.
You hit it on the head:
: Are we taught to be this way? I think we're definitely encouraged. Probably not directly, but in subtle ways we're encouraged to focus on what we need and to resolve [the problem].
(I modified the end of your quote to set aside the specific personality traits we both share which cause the irritation/complaining response that is natural to us.)
We in this culture are all subject to this kind of "what is wrong?" and "what do I lack?" and "what do I need to fix it?" mentality. And we are directly bombarded with "answers." These tactics are extremely effective because they employ the ideals we hold most dear and appeal to our well being.
Take our supposed ideal of the equality of all people in this culture. If we are all "equal," it seems fair to the human mind that we should all experience the same abundance, satisfaction, and success. Therefore, when we see constant evidence via the media and our contacts with others that we do not in fact have the "equality" that certain others do, we feel unfulfilled as people, because we are not "equal." We long for everything that we are told we ought to have, which others who are "equal" with us have. By accepting this perspective that we are lacking things essential to our well-being and essential to our being what we are supposed to be, our life can only revolve around desire for the missing pieces, and we never find the meaning in our own existence, we never discover what it means to BE.
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Now be a good FarEastern-minded American boy and put your answer underneath mine so as not to confuse the other poor readers who are already preoccupied with what the last 5 commercials told them they need to be happy and healthy people and not lose out on life.