Posted by cav on March 03, 2005 at 04:59:01:
In Reply to: More than you wanted to know. posted by PS on March 02, 2005 at 22:12:54:
I too am sick, though it hasn't been a long process. I just got over a cold and then ran right into another one. As for the depression I will pray with you. In the meantime, do what you can to find even the simplest pleasure...warm sunlight, a nice glass of water, anything.
As for your thoughts on the human condition, I totally agree. In fact that was largely why I gave up debating such topics in the first place. NOthing we say is going to change it. NO amount of categorizing, disecting, pinpointing will change it. I remember coming to this realization: that if we eliminated all divisions and equally distributed everything, the first thing that would happen is one person would attack another simply to have more.
But the hope for me lies beyond this world. God promises that these things will be rectified, but I think we, like the zealots, try to hard to effect it in a time and condition in which it is impossible. The best thing we can do is recognize that we live according to an order that is not yet manifest in this reality, though it does exist. In this mind we can continually work toward good on an individual level and leave the movings of organizations to themselves.
In my study of philosophy I began to believe that there are only two choices for the thinking person in the modern world...nihilism or God. Any person with eyes to see will soon realize that all efforts are vain and futile, destruction and death are all that lie ahead in even the best scenarios. So either there is no hope or there is God. All other outlooks are really just elaborate self deceptions.
I am reminded of a song by a very excellent band, though they are so mired in the Christian pop scene that they are often obscured by it. The band is Caedmon's Call...my brother turned me on to them. In one song they say, "this world has nothing for me, and this world has everything." What a powerful thought...I think the essence of the closest relationship with God begins at the point that we feel this way. Because before we are so disgusted and done with the things of this world as to lose hope, we are not truly free enough to fly into God's grace without looking back.
Lately my favorite metaphor has been that of the sheepdog. A friend once said off hand that if Jesus is the sheperd, we should be sheepdogs...but the image is so deep. A sheep dog doesn't concern himself with the decisions of the sheperd. He doesn't worry about providing for the sheep, all he does is keep them moving with the sheperd. Further, think of a dog's personality, especially a good dog whom you have shared life with. They are ever faithful, blindly, they are unable to understand all that you do, but they pick up on commands and feelings and they respond accordingly. They live to simply be with you, and they are content just to lie at your feet. This is the relationship that I desire with God. Lately in my meditations I have found myself simply wanting to lie at God's feet. To feel his hand on my head... but even if I can't feel it,
I remind myself that simply being at his heel is enough. After all, my deepest thoughts are little more than barking to him anyway. Thankfully he can interpret those groanings.
: : : Well, no one has tried to rouse any beasts in a long time, and in fact I've pretty much given it up myself, but all the nostalgic talk made me think...ah what the heck, so here goes...poke-poke:
: : : I think Nationalism is a bad idea that should be abandoned. It seems it hasn't done much in history but lead to contention and suffering by creating a thousand 'us and them' complexes. There are political models that work without it and have been tried. And there was recently a big feature in Time magazine about a culture of international businessmen who exist as world citizens with little regard for nationality. So I say there's little chance for real peace as long as nations exist. It is only xenophobia and selfishness that keeps us from embracing such an idea on a large scale.
: : : Any thoughts?
: : ~All I can say is I've thought that way for a long time that Nationalism and Patriotism are contributors to war. I do not feel that I should be all faithfull to any one country. actually, there's more I want to say bout this but I got to go for now.
: Well I am so depressed about the state of humanity I think I have lost hope. You know, if we could end all nationalist divisions, humans would just create new factions to facilitate and legitimate their hatred. It is more a product of the human condition than any political organization. Can anything really change the human condition? I know God works redemptively in individual lives and calls us to bring that hope to others. Still, right now that seems at best like a tiny island barely afloat in a vast sea of anxiety, misery, and bitterness.
: I am depressed...
: I have never been this depressed in my life. I do not know what is happening to me, but it is scary. Maybe it is all this sickness I am fighting now. Maybe it is all the minimalist, reductionist, atheistic scholasticism I am swimming in daily. Whatever it is, it seems like a dark cloud is engulfing me and I can't shake it.
: I miss our fellowships. I miss the songs to God. I am just hurting.
: I miss the fire. I want to be filled.
: I am praying fervently, feverishly, desperately. Pray with me please.
: I am still sick. I got prescriptions tonight. Maybe when I am better physically life will look more hopeful.