Posted by Terry on June 28, 2005 at 07:46:36:
In Reply to: The All In One Comment posted by Xavier on June 26, 2005 at 10:45:46:
:
: This is my all in one comment.
: Over the years I have been ignorant and lacking as a friend. I have not called when I said I was going to and been lacking as a friend. I want to make ammends to that, and talk to people more. I am penly sorry Terry and Bill for having wasted your time. I understand that it is a precious commodity and yours need not be wasted waiting for me.
You miss understand my anger. You are not a waste of time. However, when you make plans with me, "I'll stay with my sister, and we can go to the movies and hang out...." I rearrange my weekend so that I'll have the whole weekend to spend with you. Then you don't call and you don't show up, when it happens more than once, when you say you will call tomorrow night and you don't, and it happens consistently, it gives me the message that I am just not important to you. I am not worth the time it takes to call and say, "I can't come over this weekend." At the BBQ all I wanted was an I'm sorry I forgot to call. I was looking forward to you coming over saying you were sorry, and playing with you and the boys. (We had a lot of fun in the pool. You should have come in.)
I of all people understand what it is to forget. I have had a few friends say to me, "where were you?" I have had to admit I was a jerk and say I was sorry. I have all, but a few times been for given when I have apologied.
One of my short coming is that I have a hard time forgiving without a sincere apology. It boggles my mind how Pastor Steve does it. However, once all is said and done I do forgive. I am working on the first and thank God for the latter.
If you don't want to hang out, or talk with me that is fine, just don't make promises you don't intend to keep.
On a happy note... I am so glad to hear of your meeting with God. That faith thing is very hard to grasp. Very few people I know truley get it, and I am not one of them. I am glad you have found that He is not interested in flowery King James speech. Some of my best times in prayer have been when I was so angry at God I was cussing at him or crying. God is not afraid of your honesty. He always meets you were you are at not where you should be. You if you try and meet him where you think you should be, he may not be there. He may be waiting for you where you are at. He wants to meet you in a sincere honest heart. Not with big words, fake piety, or coping someone else words and prayers, just with you, your love, devotion, and faith. (I know sentence fragment.) Remember, he loves you as you were, as you are, and as you will be. He knows you better than you know yourself. He has been calling your name your whole life.
Sorry, I'm preaching. I'll stop now.